


Seventh Heaven

by wonderble



Category: Toriko (Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:49:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderble/pseuds/wonderble
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt from fuyuhana-san: Demon!kingsxKomatsu. I have nothing else to say.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seventh Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> Crack. Pure unadultered crack. Originally posted on April 1, 2012 if that gives you any indication of what might be involved.

"BOW TO US, MORTAL!" boomed the voice across the kitchen. Komatsu could only stare, one hand still clutching a spatula. He had  inadvertently stuck the other into the bowl of batter he had been mixing.

He had a feeling that spatulas and batter, however, would be of little use against the unholy beings that had erupted from a hole in the kitchen floor. They were now advancing towards him, horned heads aflame and red eyes scorching with a searing light. There were four of them and each of them looked as if they could tear Komatsu apart with their pinkies.

"Uh .... excuse me?!"  he squeaked.

"THOU HAST SUMMONED US!" the largest of them roared. "BY THE COVENANT OF BLOOD AND FIRE!"

"But I was just making apple turnovers!" Komatsu wailed. "I'm certain I wasn't making a covenant! Just apple turnovers!"

"APPLE TURNOVERS?! ART THOU CERTAIN YOU WERE NOT MIXING THE RECIPE FOR ETERNAL DAMNATION?!"

"Pretty sure," Komatsu wavered. "Unless eternal damnation comes with a side of dried figs." 

"Huh," said the demon. "Guys, we might have a problem ..."

***

It turned out that Aunt Margeline's recipe for applelicious turnovers was awfully close to the recipe for damnation and eternal hellfire.

Komatsu knew he should have NEVER substituted dried blood grapes for the dried raisins, but he had thought the recipe needed a bit more of a tang ...

He now had quite a bit of a tang all right. Who would have thought the blood grapes he had bought from the mysterious vendor down the street had _real_ blood in them?!

It was completely ridiculous. Absolutely, utterly ridiculous. A bad sci-fi fantasy dime store manga sorta ridiculous. He was a chef! Chefs didn't have odd adventures happening to them! All he should have to worry about was not collapsing the bundt cake!

Initially, Komatsu had cycled through several reactions, from running (he had smacked straight into some sort of invisible barrier), crying (that hadn't helped much more than giving him a dry throat), messing up his pants (that had been embarrassing), and yelling (again, the invisible barrier seemed to be as sound proof as it was "running screaming for help" proof).

Oddly enough, for creatures of hell and damnation, none of the demons seem to enjoy his intense fear. Instead, they sat patiently in his tatami room, eyebrows lifted. When Komatsu nearly ran headlong into the barrier for the third time, one of them even caught him neatly by the scruff of his shirt and turned him around so he wouldn't hurt himself.

Then, when Komatsu had finally wore himself out to the point of collapsing on the floor, gasping, one of them even picked him up and pointed him towards his bedroom and pulled out a fresh set of pants.

It was somehow ... _kind_ of the creatures.

It also helped the four demons had not tried to eat him yet, though they looked terribly capable of doing so. They had actually stopped with the heads-on-fire thing.

Apparently, that was only for paying customers. Now they appeared as four rather large men with horns on their heads. They weren't actually bad looking either; one of them was actually beautiful, with long flowing locks of multicolored hair. Their bodies, too, weren't hard to look upon at all, though the one with the red hair had a ripped face that gave Komatsu a bit of a pause.

Exhaustion, though, had a good way of making even the most bizarre situations seem sane. After cleaning himself off, Komatsu took a deep breath. Whether he liked it or not, apparently he would have to deal with the fact that there were now demons. Four of them. In his living room.

"I'm sorry I ran and screamed," he started off, since well ... it really was quite rude.

"We're used to it!" the blue haired one said. "Actually, you got over that really fast. It usually takes people at LEAST three days to finish all the "OHMYSATAN!" sort of squealing. And that's after they MEANT to summon us!"

"I really do appreciate you being so patient," Komatsu said. "And um, not eating me or anything."

"Eh, we can't eat you when we're not even sure why we're bound to you yet," the blue haired one mused. "Besides, you're nothing but a mouthful anyway."

"Um ..."

"Look, it's obvious that you didn't sign any contract that was written in the impure blood of at least three unrepentant sinners nor did you sacrifice three hundred virgins to make a burning circle. Hell, you happen to be a virgin yourself."

"Hey! Um, no, I didn't and no, that's none of your business!"

"YOU GETTING COCKY BRAT?!" snarled the red haired one.

"AAAACK!" 

"Stop scarin' the kid! That's not going to help," said the blue haired one. "So here's the problem. Since we've manifested, we can't go back without a corrupt soul. We're bound to you until we fulfill your soul damning wish. So. What would you like us to do? We can bring down nations. Make you rise up as an emperor! Gather up the hearts of a thousand maidens to lay beating at your feet ..."

"Erm, I don't want any of that!" Komatsu insisted. "Um, can I just wish you home?"

"Fuckin' HELL! That's not exactly a soul damning wish!" growled the red haired demon.

"I don't want my soul damned," Komatsu said softly. "Just like I don't want any sort of power. I just want to cook. Um, are you sure you have the right guy?"

"Unfortunately, the fact that we appeared here, in front of you, says as much," said the black haired demon. "How you were able to summon four demons of hell ... and us, in particular ... without trying ... is a bit odd. Most people can barely manage one on purpose."

"It's undigni'fied, that's what it is!" sniffed the last demon. "It's OBV's that something as ugly and uncultured as YOU are can't POSSIBLY summon something as sinfully beat'ful as ME!"

"Ah," Komatsu quailed. "I am REALLY sorry though." He swallowed.

"We know," said the black haired demon. "That actually is part of the problem. You feel bad for us -- honestly bad -- even though it's through no fault of your own that we're here. And deep beyond the fear ... huh."

"Wha ... what do you mean?"

"Komatsu-kun, you really are interesting, you know that? You want to make us your ... friends?"

"Ah ... um ..." Komatsu rubbed his cheeks with his hands. Without their heads on fire, he had to admit the four didn't seem all that bad. "If we're really stuck together and you aren't going to eat me ..."

"We STILL MIGHT, you COCKY BASTARD! DAMN IT! You're a not even a king or a fuckin' warrior. Hell, give me a hero even. But no, You're a COOK! A FUCKin' COOK WANTS TO BE FRIENDS WITH DEMONS?! Damn it all!"

"Hey, give the kid a break! I actually like being out again, even if it is just with a cook and in his err ... cooking world." the blue haired one mused. "No harm, no foul. We just stick around 'til he fucks up, and then we get to go home. In the meantime, I saw we enjoy ourselves."

Komatsu twisted his apron in his hands. _What's going to happen if I fu-- ahh, mess up?!_ he wondered.

"Arrgh, he can't even curse in his thoughts! FUCK IT ALL!" howled the red haired demon. "Forget the second coming ... we're gonna be stuck here until the sixth at this rate!"

"Calm down." the black haired one. "That will not help matters. Komatsu-kun, in the past, we'd go through the whole rigamarole of trying to seduce you, but that leads to its own complications. Hell has found that, sometimes the truth works best sometimes. So the truth is this: we will be here until you give into your desires and make a decision that damns your soul. 

You say you have no desires now? Well, perhaps, if you spend more time with us, you will learn. Perhaps, one day, you will really truly understand what it means to _really_ desire. Yes, I definitely think that might work."

"Uuuuuuh."

"Until then, I suppose introductions are in order. Unfortunately we can't tell your our true names. That would melt your flesh from your bones and boil your brain in your skull."

"Oh."

"But we are amenable to human aliases. What would you like to call us? Naming us by our hair color must be tiring."

"Uh ..." Komatsu blinked, scanning his kitchen. "Err ..."

"I also advise you not to name us "Mayonaise" or "Butter" or even "Mr. Whipple's  Wondrous Pancakes" ... as interesting as that moniker sounds."

"Ah." Komatsu bit his lip. Silence stretched between them, long and lean. In the distance, he could hear his pipes gurgling and the sound of the passing traffic below. The world seemed to be turning onwards merrily, oblivious to the soul changing event taking place in his small kitchen. 

"But ... names are important, right? They have to fit you, so I don't want to mess it up ... maybe you could name yourselves?"

For a moment, all of the demons looked thunderstruck. Their mouths were open (so many fangs!), their eyes were wide (with flames dancing within them), and they had all taken a step back (he was sorta glad that the hellmouth had actually closed -- they would have fallen in).

"Name ... ourselves?" the blue haired one said.

"Yep!"

"Ah, we've ... never actually done that," the blue haired one said.

"Really?" Komatsu blinked.

"Our first names were given by the one we rebelled against, and thus we shall never hear them again -- that's why there's all that skin peeling and brain boiling. And our contract holders usually would name us. We've never had the freedom to ..." the blue haired one blinked. "Huh."

"Well, I didn't choose my name either, but I think you guys totally should." Komatsu nodded. "Since you're the ones who'll have to answer to it."

"I don't know about this. I just fuckin' don't know! He's bein' too fuckin' cocky!"

"A name is such a dangerous thing ..."

"It can't be too ugly ... uuugh, imagine being called something ugly and having to reply!"

"I want to be called Toriko!"

"WHHHAAAT?!"

Later, Komatsu reflected on just how odd it was to be completely in synch with three other demons as the fourth grinned at them confidently.

It would not be the last time.

"Um, err ... Toriko-san, err .. Toriko is sorta a girl's na-"

"Sunny! I shall be known as Sunny, for I am as beautiful as the brightest morning star in the sky!"

"Ah, Sunny-san, um, you do know that Sunny is sorta a girl's name t--"

"Then I shall be Coco."

"Err ..."

"I've always liked the sound that doves make, you know. Coco. Coco."

"Doves?! Um, I don't think that doves sound like --"

"Call me Zebra, you bastards!"

"Whhhhat?"

"Stop gaping at me! I happen to fuckin' like zebras. Almost as much as I like hippos, but that would be a STUPID name, right?!"

"Ah." Komatsu said faintly. In the background, he heard a ding. His turnovers were finished.

"Do you have a problem with the names we chose?" Toriko asked. There was something ... slippery ... in his voice. The barest hint of a slither, almost. "You could still choose for us. Order us around. You know, giving demons freedom... it's not exactly done."

Komatsu thought for a moment. He thought about freedom. He thought about the weight of being bound. And he thought ... what was it like to be set free?

"No. They're good names. Welcome to my world, Toriko-san, Sunny-san, Coco-san, Zebra-san! Get ready for lots of cooking because you won't be going back for a long while. I not going to be damned and I'm NOT going to hell."

"Hmm, yes. However, now I think we may _want_ to take you with us," purred Toriko.

Oh well, Komatsu thought as he took his apple turnover out of the oven, it looked like his chef's life was not going to be boring any longer.

*****

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks go to: nitrocherry, latenightiridescence, fabelyn, kingcarp, fuyuhana-san, mimeus, celloowls, latenightiridescence, and deathangel499297 for your .. err ... support when it was first posted on tumblr.
> 
> Erm. I'm sorry I'm associating your names wit this mess. Hehe.


End file.
